What Not To Feel Guilty About During a Divorce
When you decide to terminate your marriage, expect to deal with emotional complications before you manage to move forward to a better life. Many people suffer from feeling guilty divorce and fail to recover quickly and efficiently as a result. This makes it necessary to approach the issue of post-divorce guilt and deal with it accordingly so that it doesn’t prevent you from a happy life.
Review the common situations when the divorce-related guilt may disturb you and learn how to get rid of unnecessary obstacles and build up a new life with success instead.
The top frequent thing that may poison your life during divorce is the guilt of having ‘bad’ thoughts. You may feel unwell for planning to apply for divorce online, for imagining living on your own, dwelling on what life would be like with a different partner, or even imagining committing infidelity. The point is that you can think and dream about whatever you want. There will be no sin until you really do something bad. Don’t bicker yourself for undone actions. If you cannot get them out of your head, talk to a therapist and get rid of unnecessary thoughts without hurdles.
Lack of Commitment
You should put the blame for ruined relationships on both partners. But the truth is that one of the spouses usually feels more guilty for not committing to the relationship enough and bringing them to the end eventually.
There is no need to focus on the negatives and feel depressed about a similar situation. Instead, you have to analyze your marriage, learn your mistakes, let your past go, and use the lessons to build up better and stronger relationships as a result.
Abandoning Your Spouse
You may also feel guilty for leaving your spouse behind. You should understand that although you have vowed eternal love and support, you cannot outdo yourself. Different things may happen in your life, and if you feel that you should better end your relationships for the wellness of both of you, then go for it.
You are not obliged to stay by the side of your former beloved for the rest of your life, they are adults and should manage their life by themself. If you wish, you can support them financially, physically, and emotionally, but as a friend now.
As soon as you quit the marriage, you will break or weaken the bonds with your friends and close relatives. You may worsen the relationships with your in-laws as well. But there is no reason to feel guilty about parting with some people and connecting with others.
This is a natural process, and you may break the relationships with some friends and relatives no matter whether you experience divorce or have any other significant changes in your life.
Being Bad Parent
Kids-related issues are the most frequent reasons for divorcees to feel guilty about their decision. The parents blame themselves for performing their duties not efficiently before, during, and after divorce, for ruining the family in general, and for causing extra stress and challenges connected to divorce to their children.
In such a situation, you need to set the priorities and assess the case soberly. Is it better for your kids to live together with irritated and constantly arguing parents, or maybe they will feel happier when the parents live apart but manage the co-parenting with pleasure and more effort? Consider all the pros and cons for your children to have their parents together or divorced and take a decision in the best kids’ interests.
First to Overcome Divorce
People treat divorce differently. Someone breathes out with relief, while others take it as the end of their world. It all depends on whether you are the initiator, what your relationships have been recently like, how ready you are to end the relationships, and more. As a result, one partner may take the divorce easier, while the other may need more time to overcome the related challenges.
You shouldn’t feel guilty if you manage to move on faster and easier. Yet, if you cannot help but do so, you may decrease the unpleasant after-effects by helping your former beloved to move forward without complications as well.
The feeling of guilt is a natural reaction to divorce putting an end to your relationship. But it doesn’t have to blind you and prevent you from creating a better life after the marriage termination. Analyze your feelings, find a logical explanation for any situation you get into, and cooperate with relevant specialists, to overcome divorce and reach success in the end.